Unfortunately, betrayal seems to be in the ethers these days on many levels with different kinds of people. If you really dissect what dynamics of ‘betrayal’ really are you’ll then discover it’s a form of stealth communication and cowardice. In psychology it’s called triangulation of negative emotions. Many people do not want to say something negative directly to your face. So instead, they may create negative gossip with others to backstab or put you down or defame someone that they may disagree with or dislike. The irony to that is they’re too cowardly to speak directly about whatever ‘their issue’ is with that person or to their face. Hence betrayal. Unfortunately, for women in a patriarchal, misogynistic western culture many voiceless women feel compelled to embrace this form of indirect communication in this manner. Being female, they might not have been allowed to speak their truth in a patriarchally, male dominated world that believes women are supposed to be demure, nice and quiet. Over generations ‘betrayal’ became a stealthy way of communicating to get your point across without looking like a bad person. Those involved in communicating using triangulation or negative gossip are really expressing their personal anger through betrayal. There can be a betrayal of confidence, a betrayal of friendship, a betrayal of sincerity. What if women or men we’re allowed to speak directly to anyone that they had a disagreement with or a judgment about. Are they too cowardly to tell them to their face? It’s called honesty.
In many cases… any consummate betrayer will gaslight their friend/victim by implanting their anger in a third party then blaming them for reacting to it… making the betrayed angry for them… yet another destructive stealth tactic…
I’m sure many or all of you reading this blog have experienced this at some point in your life. It doesn’t feel good mainly because you may not know the source of where the ‘backstabbing’ came from which definitely can make anyone paranoid. What’s interesting though is those who tend to betray from my experience are projecting something onto someone that may not be based on the truth. Their perception which leads to their anger, also leads to their cowardice, which then leads to more negative gossip thus creating betrayal. This happens in all levels of society, it doesn’t matter if you’re black, you’re white, you’re poor, you’re rich or even ignorant that this happens. I feel it’s important to call it out because I see it happening in my life and across society. Betrayal separates people, it doesn’t bridge people, it doesn’t allow for honest communication. In current ‘woke culture’ it leads to ‘cancel culture’ if you don’t want to hear an alternative opinion. Then what is the answer here? Personally, I would say direct communication if you had an issue or a judgment about someone go to them directly. Communicate directly then you do not have to gain more evidence. Negative gossip often leads to backstabbing and triangulated emotions that don’t serve anyone.
It is really about exerting influence in negative ways to create the illusion of Power by Stealth!
One resolution that I’ve found is to exclude yourself from people who communicate or manipulate in this way. We know there’s a lot of selfish narcissism in American culture today. I find the best way to protect yourself from the forces of negative communication is to set healthy, strong boundaries and or remove yourself from the group or circle that chooses to engage in this type of destructive behavior. You’re better off protecting yourself to limit the possibilities of this level of ‘betrayal’ injuring you on a soul level. It’s also good to ‘call out’ those people to let them know why they’re why you’re withdrawing. Ultimately, it’s important to keep your own integrity and honor and to trust your own intuitive guidance. If you cannot trust someone or your trust in a person is broken it may be irreparable, it’s best to walk away before more damage is done. Trust is a funny thing. You either have it or you don’t. Generally, when someone betrays you on any level they can’t be trusted again. Their negative behavior will haunt you and not allow you to connect with someone who might be that damaged or caustic behind your back. In summation I find it best to exclude yourself in order to protect yourself. Stay in your integrity and as you can never undo what they did. Courageously distance yourself or withdraw because 99% will lie which furthers more mistrust. Most of us are honest souls. It hurts our faith in humanity and can hurt your heart when people you thought of as friends behave in this manner. Walk away with your integrity and heart intact. Wish them well and don’t worry as they’ll find someone else to act out onto betray or backstab others in your absence. Sincerely Gary Stuart
Quantum Activation Constellations are a multi-dimensionally conscious healing process improving every aspect of your life. MONEY, ROMANCE, HEALTH, or RELATIONSHIPS. Common issues addressed ORGANIZATIONAL ISSUES, financial, interpersonal relationships, and making peace with YOUR past.
Sincerely Gary Stuart
Bert Hellinger protege and master Constellation healing Facilitator also a 5 Time Best-Selling Author and Speaker. He’s facilitated thousands of transformative healing experiences for well over two decades. His skills and techniques expand consciousness while resolving inherited life-long challenges, stagnation, and negative family patterns.
Gary’s heartfelt passion is to help people heal and resolve unconscious, negative, interpersonal family patterns that stop you from living the life you can choose to live. He never loses sight in connecting people with “the gift” of happiness and fulfillment that’s so needed and deserved.