This month’s topic and posts on Entanglements with other Generations INCLUDES those Excluded from the family system. There is another more neurotic and insidious version of entanglements, Behaviors. Many people in each and every family history have a way of doing things or thinking about what life should be which leads to the way of doing LIFE. Some of these behaviors were necessary eons ago to help our ancestral lineage survive. They are messages from those who came before. Ironically, as purposeful as they were Now is not the place or time where the context may make any sense as the original stimuli is long gone and forgotten but the behaviors remain. They may seem dysfunctional or out of place.
Say an ancestor from Ireland was forced to make “Stone Soup” to help her family survive the potatoes famine years ago. Her descendants could become Gardeners in a positive way or Hoarders in another or even work in a quarry thinking they were around food a plenty when indeed they are Laborers in a quarry not knowing why they are attracted to this line of work.
In my life my father did Bodywork and mechanical work on Automobiles. I love new vehicles and have a pen(r)chant for 50’s classics. Now I do Bodywork and healing on people. I very recently found out my grandfather was a counselor of the family and a loving, fair, neutral voice on familial issues and conflicts. Not even knowing this trait I am the same in my family as well. Not to mention facilitating groups.
Many traits and behaviors are shared. These exist symbolically in the mindset of the family system. Now these innocuous ones can take a nasty turn with anger, rage, alcoholism, sexual abuse, bad-tempered and all the other negative dynamics that are passed down from generation to generation. Either we look for the same stimuli or create the same causes unintentionally. I feel this is predominately done to act out the issues and the mindset of those who came before. IF we are lucky enough to see these patterns and want to change them or at the very least acknowledge that they aren’t ours to carry, then we stand a chance to transform them in a new way.
Constellation Healing Experiences help us do this in a deep and profound new way. Each and everything we do is an echo of a reaction that was had before by someone else in our family system. The million dollar question is can we Dis-ENTANGLE ourselves from any negative connections by transforming them with unconditional love? The answer is YES!