Transforming Grief & Loss Through a Constellation Healing Experience

One of the most devastating experiences any human being can undergo in life is the loss of a loved one. The intensity of the feeling known as grief can cripple us at a time when we most need emotional strength. It can linger within us for years as a nagging “could have, would have, should have” longing for a chance to have done things differently.

Feelings of grief strike a common cord deep within us all, both individually and collectively. Whether it is the sudden loss of a miscarried child, the death of a parent or grandparent, a sibling, or a close friend – the emotional pain is the same, and the negative effects can last not only throughout our own lives, but into future generations as well. Often in a Primal Constellation Healing Experience, we find that such familial pain gets passed down the generational line as a lesson on how to deal with (or not deal with) those all-too-familiar issues of life and loss. After all, we all come from a long line of dead people. Even those who had passed on before we were even born also passed on to us the family’s epigenetic field of consciousness within those physical elements known as their DNA. Of course, we inherit this as the greatest gift we could ever receive — namely life itself. But as most living beings soon find out, being alive comes with a price, and often the generational price of youth is grief.

Different family systems manifest different responses to grief. Some cope with a loss by exhibiting a vast array of negative symptoms such as depression, suicide, alcoholism or drug abuse. Often family members will react to a tragic situation by copying the same dysfunctional pattern of behavior found historically within the family’s lineage. And every successive generation will have a reaction to the loss even if the tragedy wasn’t experienced within their lifetime. In other words, grief can be passed down the family line as well as the DNA.

There is a way out, however — a process to transform and release us from the collective pain of our families’ losses. When you participate in a Primal Constellation Healing Experience, you have the ability to access your entire familial lineage in a very short period of time. Being able to witness the epigenetic effects of your entire ancestry’s conscious field, you gain tremendous insight into your own patterns of behavior. Through the use of surrogate participants as family representatives, one is quickly able to discover the “core issue” that seeks resolution and transformation, allowing profound changes to occur. The group supports this process by engaging in the timeless, energetic consciousness of all life, hence merging into your family system with a subjective yet detached objectivity. All parties concerned, present or not, living or dead, experience the intimate, rippling trans-generational healing effects of the work.

Remember, most reactions to grief and loss manifested within our family ancestry long before we incarnated into the system. Through this process, even those who have passed on can be deeply affected by your personal journey into their ancestral field of consciousness. This is the essence of a Primal Constellation Experience. “ALL is ONE and ONE is ALL.” The living are one with the dead, and the dead are one with the living. In transforming our emotional responses to grief and loss, we allow any and all negative symptoms surrounding an incomplete grieving process to be healed and released.

During the past ten years as a facilitator of this work, I have come to the realization that there is really no death — just a transition back into the Spirit from whence we came. Our collective epigenetic ancestry is still alive and ever-present within us, much more than we know. They are here to support us in our search for inner peace, and do not want or need us to carry any unresolved grief. Such negative symptoms are often just a reaction to what hasn’t been expressed. Sometimes a simple, “Goodbye — I love you” is all that it takes to honor and release those who came before, thereby transforming and releasing our own grief in the process.

Gary Stuart

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